The evening freeway traffic was slowly winding through the hills. I was driving my Mom home. At 97 years old, she still lives on her own.
“Diamonds and rubies” she said. “What?” I replied. She answered, “The headlights and taillights—they look like strings of diamonds and rubies”.
“Yes” I chuckled. One of her wonderful characteristics is the ability to see, appreciate and comment on the beautiful and the enjoyable in life. Several people on her side of the family had that trait. That strange bunch (refugees from the hills of Transylvania) had to spend a good deal of time and energy dealing with harsh realities. But they always seemed to find ways to enjoy their lives with humor and a knack for finding delight in small things. Good idea—besides putting more pleasure in our lives, it helps keep us youthful.
That trait is also a key part of effective communications. I tell family, friends and clients that a great way to deal with difficult discussions is to first listen to the other people and look for “what I like about that”. Then express your honest appreciation about that part of their concept. You don’t have to agree with everything, but surely there’s some good in their ideas.
Try it in your personal and professional life. You just might find diamonds and rubies.
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George M. Pomonik
Pomonik Consulting, Inc.
“Chaos Removal Services”SM
www.pomonik.com
Copyright © George M. Pomonik, 2011. All rights reserved.
Hi Rusty,
Rose has always been a special person. I always feel blessed and cared about when I talk to her.
Linda
George,
Your mom certainly has a positive attitude. We need more like her.
Regards, Alymar
Rusty,
Thank you (and mom) for reminding me how one should look at life. Some of us Transylvanian-Americans get stuck focussing on the harsh realities (…maybe that’s my Russian-Austrian side). Regardless, I will never view a nighttime traffic jam the same way …and I will always think of Aunt Rose when I do.
Michael
That perspective can make the dreary bearable and I feel its great support as you work toward building yourself toward a better tomorrow. For people which cannot improve their situation like POWs, it can just mean survival. Thank you for the article.
Great insight! Simple yet profound.
My sincere best wishes, George.
Luis
Rusty
This is a fantastic story and one from which we all can learn to try to appreciate every minute.. Thanks for sharing . It has set my day in a wonderful direction.
The difference between looking and seeing. How truly valuable are the people who can see.
Rusty,
Your mom’s comments are truly precious. The first and perhaps the only humerous comments about LA area traffic- other than the one about the world’s biggest parking lot.
Jerry
What a wonderful outlook she has. Must have been fun growing up with her. She still has her health at 97, what a blessing.
Thanks for sharing,
Joan
good job, very cute. Hope we both have your Mom’s longevity.
regards,
bob
Hi George, My wife and I found your comments about your mother very touching.
We both lost our mothers when they were in their sixties. We always feel a loss that they were not around long enough to enjoy the golden years.
Elliot
What a great way to look at things, and a great approach for dealing with conflict and differences. Thanks for the reminder of that.
Amen George…….I want to be like Rose (and YOU) when I grow up!!